Issue 35: No Pain No Gain...Part 1 of 2: Gathering in Genosha

Franco Prience strides through the exquisite garden, taking in the wondrous and varied aromas from each and every one of his exotic and rare flowers. He’d dedicated nearly as much to his garden than to his political career, and he loves to stroll through and admire the fruit of his life's work.

His bare feet slapping against the cobblestone walkway, Monsieur Prience, a high-standing member of the French Parliament, makes his way to the center of the garden. As is his daily routine, Prience enjoys sitting down on one of the stone benches and taking in his beautiful achievement, relaxing away the difficulties and stress of French politics. Particularly the trouble he’s had in trying to convince his peer towards a piece of legislation that he’s worked at for years.

This day, however, Monsieur Prience finds a pleasant surprise awaiting him. Turning past the golden lilacs, Prience enters the main courtyard. There, he stops dead in his tracks. On the cold stone benches, without a care in the world, or a stitch of clothing, lie two extraordinarily beautiful women.

Looking straight up at him, one of the women, a brunette, giggles and sits up. “Oooo, Carmella look, it’s really him!”

The other woman, a hard faced and hard-bodied creature with jet-black hair, looks up lazily, though her eyes light up upon the sight of Monsieur Prience. “I knew it! I told he comes here everyday Martinique, but you didn’t believe me.”

Leaping off the bench with a bounce, the black-haired beauty bounces over to the startled Prience and throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "It's such an honor to meet you, Monsieur Pierce. Ever since I read about your policies, I knew that Martinique and I just had to pay you a visit.”

Backing away from him, holding his shoulders at arms length, Carmella looks into his eyes mischievously. “Now, why don’t you remove that silly robe, and come enjoy the garden with us.”

Still in a sort of shock, Prience looks down to find that he is indeed wearing a robe, and apparently nothing beneath it. Though this is by no means what he normally wears to his garden, Prience doesn’t give it a second’s thought. All that Monsieur Prience can think of is enjoying the company of these two ravishing young women the way that Frenchmen do.

Untying the robe sash, Prience lets it fall to the ground as Carmella leads him to one of the benches. Grasping him by the shoulders, Martinique pulls Prience down onto the bench, pressing her body against his back.

Purring into his ear, Martinique runs her hands over Monsieur Prience's chest. “Just relax Monsieur. Carmella and I know just how to take away all your worries.”

"Indeed we will Monsieur. We'll relax you in the best way possible." Kneeling in front of Prience, Carmella lowers her head. Feeling as though he is in a dream, Prience lightly moans, enjoying the attentions of the two young women.

Martinique, meanwhile, rubs herself against Monsieur Prience’s back, her hands tracing along his chest and stomach. Lightly kissing his neck and ear, she whispers to him. “We can do so much more to relax you Monsieur. You want to be relaxed, don’t you?”

“Oh yeah! I would like that very much!” Prience moans, his hands running through Carmella’s black hair. “Aaauuuugggghhh gaauuudd-Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!”

Tearing her head away, Carmella gives Prience a bloody smile. “Why the long face Monsieur? Haven’t you ever received a deep-tissue massage? There’s always some pain before you can truly relax.”

Martinique continues to whisper in Prience’s ear, her hands now ripping bloody entrails from his mid-section. “You know what they say Monsieur: No pain no gain.”

At this point, though, Monsieur Prience isn’t really paying attention. His mind is an inferno of agony, his hands groping at his crotch, searching for anything.

Still smiling, blood dripping down the corners of her mouth, Carmella lifts the whimpering Prience’s chin, looking into his eyes. “Awwww, does little Prience-ee have a boo-boo? Let Carmella kiss it and make it better.” Leaning forward, Carmella presses her gore-filled mouth against Prience’s forcefully kissing the French politician.

Martinique continued to string out the Frenchmen’s intestines, even as Carmella sucked the life from him. Within minutes, Monsieur Prience’s bloody, lifeless, empty shell collapsed from the bench, the two woman giggling over the remains.

“Mastermind, that was one of the most painful things I’ve ever seen. Thanks for letting me watch.”

“No thanks needed, Toad. What’s the point of art without having someone around to appreciate it. What’d you think Unuscione.”

Unuscione removes her forcefield from Monsieur Prience’s face, shrugging. “I found it a rather torturous way to die. I would have rather you didn’t make me a cock-sucking whore though.”

Toad smiles. “I rather enjoyed that part. By the way Mastermind, way to exaggerate.”

“I’d love to take the credit for giving myself double-Ds, but those beauties were already in the fantasy. I just manipulated the dream subtly to suit my purposes. It’s the least this mutant-hating bigot and pervert deserved.”

Unuscione raises her fist, her force field flexing around it. “Dying in his sleep is too good, despite what you did in his dream. I want to scatter his limbs across Paris, Toad.”

“That’d be fun, but no. Remember girls, we can’t draw suspicion yet. An old man dying in his sleep is better than a mutant-hating politician brutally murdered.”

Noticing Unuscione’s skeptical expression, Toad adds, “But don’t worry. I promise we’ll get to kills lots of humans soon.”

Leaping over the wide moat with ease, Unuscione and Mastermind behind him, Toad sings in the rain.

“I’m singing in the rain! I’m singing in the rain! Now I’m insiiiiiiide, so I’m no longer siiiiiinging in the raaaaaiiiiiiiin!”

Hopping in front of the door, Toad knocks twice, then once, then thrice.

“Who is it?” Shouts a voice from inside. Nobody was told about any code.

“I’m knocking, so I’m someone you should let inside!” Toad screeches, shattering the heavy oak doors with a single roundhouse kick. “Lucy I’m home!”

Stepping to the side, Toad waves Unuscione and Mastermind in. “Lady’s first. Cyke!” He rushes in before them at the last minute. “It’s not the Brotherhood of Gentlemen, remember.”

Mastermind and Unuscione just look at the madman with a mixture of pity and amazement that he’s their leader.

Hopping down the hall, Toad reaches into a shadowy alcove and pulls Avalanche out, hugging him tightly. “Avalanche, terrific sentry duty. Double points for not opening the door first like a retard. Dismissed.”

Avalanche just stands there and watches Toad hop away. Shaking his head, he mutters to the girls, “God damn that guy’s insane.”

Mastermind nods. “Maybe so, but at least he has his moments.”

“You said it,” Avalanche responds, walking with them.

Toad leaps off the walls, a blur rushing through the vast halls. Throwing the doors aside, he flips through the air into the chamber. Hopping over the discarded wires and pieces of glass, Toad crouches down on top of the huge computer monitor and looks down at the large chair with it’s back to him.

“Hey Mountjoy, have you figured out how to get this equipment working yet? I know you keep you’re no tech guy, but seeing as how you’re from the future-”

The chair turned around. Toad fell off the monitor, sprawling onto the floor. Amazed, he looks up. “You’re not Mountjoy.”

No, he’s not. Mountjoy has red hair, dresses in expensive 18th century clothes, and is all-around creepy looking. The man in the chair, however, has midnight black hair, and is wearing casual street clothes, along with a T-Shirt with the words God Can F--- Himself printed on it. He’s also much creepier looking, though that could just be the element of surprise.

“No, I’m not. Mountjoy is currently in that glass bowl in the corner there, silently screaming in agony.” The man thumbs towards the corner.

Toad follows his gesture. He sees the glass sphere with a reddish tint to it. He also sees Mountjoy, his mouth wide open in a scream.

“I didn’t want anyone else to know about my presence, so I cast a little spell of silence around him. I was hoping that we could avoid the obligatory fight and talk business.”

Toad’s ears perk up at the word ‘business’. Flipping to his feet, Toad crouches down and watches his visitor with narrowed eyes. “Okay, but the slightest mistake, and I won’t hesitate to gut you like a fish.”

The visitor smiles. “You look so cool like that. Real scary.”

Toad grins and straightens up. “Really? I’ve been working at it for a while, but it never seemed to work. Which part do you think was the scariest? Was it the flip? The snappy threat?”

“I’d have to say the flip. It was so sudden and just looked impossible to do. Surprise is a huge part of being scary.”

“Tell me about it. When you turned in that chair, I nearly pissed myself.” Clearing his throat, Toad straightens himself. “So, um, you wanted to talk business, so talk. And it’d better be worth my while.”

“Oh, it is Mr. Toynbee. I want to hire the services of your team. The job is simple yet difficult, and it has so much to offer even without my payment.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. What’s the assignment. He shifts his head to the side. “Did that sound professional enough?”

“Definitely. I almost thought I was in a business office.”

“Great. By the way, what should I call you, seeing as how we’ll be doing business and stuff.”

“You haven’t heard the assignment yet. Technically, we aren’t doing business.”

“Right.” Toad straightens again. “Spill it, and it’d better be good.”

The visitor nods. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll think so. One word: Genosha. I want your Brotherhood to-”

“Evil Mutants.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. I’m sorry, but that’s how I prefer we be called.”

He shrugs. “Fine, whatever you want. Anyway, I want you guys to tear the country apart, helping the mutate rebels out, and generally causing massive death and destruction. I offer ten million. Eight after the job is done, and two already deposited in your Swiss bank account.”

Toad grins, nodding rapidly. “Oh, I’d definately call that good. I’ll take you’re word for it about the 2 mil, though I’d say the fun of tearing up Genosha is payment enough.”

Standing, Toad approaches the visitor, hand outstretched. “Of course, I’ll have to discuss this with my team, but take it from my, you have got yourself-”

Unuscione, Mastermind, and Avalanche walk into the room. “Toad, we’ve been talking, and we feel that-” Unuscione freezes at the sight of the intruder and Mountjoy imprisoned in the glass sphere. “Get down Toad! I’ll handle this guy.”

Unuscione’s exoskeleton bends and stretches out, gripping the intruder tightly, lifting into the air. “Explain yourself. I could use a new paperweight.” She flexes the exoskeleton to drive her words home.

Surprisingly, he just smiles. “I couldn’t imagine why. You aren’t exactly what I’d call a paper pusher, aren’t you Unus....scione.”

Her mouth hanging open in shock, Unuscione releases her hold on him. He lands running, slamming his fist into Unuscione before she could recover. Unconscious, she falls.

Mastermind angrily approaches him. “I don’t know who you are, but you picked the wrong monastery to break into. Forget about explaining yourself. I’ll take what I need right n-Naaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!”

Grabbing her head in both hands, Mastermind collapses to the floor, screaming in torment. The intruder shifts his gaze to Avalanche.

Avalanche glances at the writhing Mastermind, the imprisoned Mountjoy, and the frozen Unuscione. Finally, Avalanche looks at Toad. “Every okay Toad.”

Toad nods. “Yes, this man is just a client that wanted to talk with me privately. I was just about to go discuss it with the rest of you.”

Avalanche shrugs. “As long as it pays well, it’s all right with me. If there’s nothing else, I’ll be in the kitchen getting something to eat.”

Toad nods, and Avalanche walks out, albeit rather hastily. Toad glances at the visitor, who shakes his head.

“I did nothing to him, or to any of your team. Mastermind merely found some...unpleasant memories I have, while Unuscione is merely surprised at something I said. As for Avalanche, he just recognized a foe that was out of his league, and naturally thought to ask you if I was a foe at all.”

Toad thinks about this for a minute, then shrugs. “Works for me. Is there anything else, or can I scrape my team up and head out. It’s a long way to Genosha.”

“It’s funny you would say that.” Chuckling, the visitor raises his hand and snaps his finger. The the right of himself and Toad, three individuals pop into view, startled. One large man, one skinny man in an outlandish costume, and one sickly looking man with hoses on his arm.

Or, to be more specific, Blob, Vanisher, and Pyro.

Dazed, Blob looks around. “Where the h-mmphhh!” Exuberent, Toad leaps onto Blob and gives him a big wet smacker on the lips.

“Fred!” Toad singsongs. “You have no idea what it feels like to have you around. The thought of the new food budget is making me shiver in my boots.”

Hopping off Blob, Toad lands in front of Vanisher and pumps the man’s hand up and down. “Telford, I don’t think we’ve ever met, but I’ve heard of you. It’s so refreshing to have a bigger loser around than myself.”

Pushing Vanisher aside, Toad nods to Pyro. “And Johnny! Pardon me if I don’t shake you’re hand, but I’m not in the mood to die slowly and painfully. It’s good to see you, though.”

Backflipping, Toad leaps away from the amazed trio and addresses the visitor. “Gee mister, I don’t who or what you are, but you just brought me three swell guys. That makes you A-Ok in my book, gee golly gosh!”

The visitor laughs and slaps his hand on Toad’s shoulder. “I’ll take that as a thanks. Just do what I’m paying you to do, and consider everything settled. You have some time now, so I suggest you talk with your new members, particularly in convincing them to join. Myself, I must be going.” He looks around uncomfortably. “Being in a house of God, even one that no longer houses Him, tends to have a certain...effect on me.”

Stepping away, the visitor begins to fade away, like a puff of smoke. A thought crosses Toad’s mind, and he cries out. “Waitaminute, we’re doing business now! Who are you?”

Smiling the visitor answers just as he vanishes entirely. “Luc.”

Dr. Kenneth Wies rushes to the newly arrived plane, his hand at the pain in his side. While there is no chance of him missing this particular passenger, the same can be said for others.

Peering over the crowd as he elbows through it, Dr. Wies searches for any sign of his guest. Still pushing to get past, the crowd suddenly parts for the departing passengers, sending Dr. Wies flying forward towards the floor. With a yelp, the good doctor closes his eyes as the ground rushes up to meet him.

Nothing happens.

Slowly, Dr. Wies opens one eye, then the other in amazement. He’s actually hovering about a foot from the ground. Spreading his arms and legs, Dr. Wies is literally struck dumb, unable to comprehend how such a thing could happen.

Then he sees the rather large feet in front of him, and feels the tug at the back of his jacket.

“It is at times like this, doctor, that I am reminded of the advice my mother used to give me. ‘Watch your feet.’ Of course, following such intellectual advice was rather easier for me than others, and so I consider it my duty to embark such words of wisdom to such individuals as yourself.”

“I thank you for reminding me, Dr. McCoy, but for now I would prefer it if you let me down.”

“Of course of course! Forgive me. I am now reminding of another tidbit my mother would impart on myself time and time again. ‘Watch your mouth young man!’ Of course, that phrase was only uttered during certain extenuating circumstances, such as the time when I forgot to watch my feet and I stubbed my toe-”

“Ahem,” Dr. Wies coughs. Dr. McCoy looks down at the good doctor that he’s still holding in midair.

“Oh, of course. Please accept my apoligies.” Making sure that Dr. Wies’ feet on solidly on the ground, Dr. McCoy releases his hold on the man’s jacket.

Getting his balance, Dr. Wies straightens his jacket and tie. “Er, thank you, Dr. McCoy.” Extending his hand, he explodes into his prepared speech. “Dr. McCoy, it is both an honor and a godsend to meet you at last and under such circumstances. My collegues and I have spared no expense in giving you everything you’ll need for your research here in-”

Enclosing the man’s hand in his own furry blue fist, Dr. McCoy pulls the doctor into a close, and rather painful, hug. “I have no doubt that you have granted me every accordance I will require, my friend, though I would hardly think it necessary to call me a godsend. I am merely one man, er, mutant, doing his best to rid of the world of this terrible affliction, same as you and your collegues.”

Dr. McCoy gets only a muffled response, and quickly releases his rather firm embrace on the diminuative doctor. Gasping for breath, Dr. Wies soundlessly motions to Dr. McCoy and points towards a car waiting at the end of the air-strip.

The large and quite conspicous doctor nods his head, patting the smaller doctor on the back, once again gripping his jacket to prevent him from falling flat on his face. “Once again, my ever so humble apoligies, dear fellow combatent of disease. As it has been said, sometimes I don’t know my own strength.”

Rather flushed, Dr. Wies tries to compose himself. “Yes, well, it’s quite all right. I myself have a nasty habit of correcting people. Now, if you’ll just follow me, I can show you that lab and the work that we’ve done thus far.”

“I would be truly delighted to witness such feats as you’ve accomplished. I can only hope to complement your advances to the extent of achieving the most desirable of results.”

Shaking his head at Dr. McCoy sings the praises of their crusade and the nature of their foe, Dr. Wies just starts walking towards the car. Only the fact that the decibles of Dr. McCoy’s ramblings remains the same tells him that Dr. McCoy is keeping up behind him. But gradually, Dr. McCoy’s words fade, prompting Wies to slow down and eventually stop, turning around to see what the matter is.

“Dr. McCoy?”

Several yards behind Dr. Wies, Dr. McCoy is standing still, looking at a news crew some distance away. Wies follows his gaze, but all he can see of interest are the letters SCN on the camera. “Oh, the Super Channel Network. They have a small station here, for obvious reasons. I suppose they heard you were coming.”

Dr. McCoy just nods and mutters, “Excuse me,” before he leaps away from Dr. Wies and towards the SCN crew.

“-where Dr. Henry McCoy, noted biologist and super-hero, has just arrived. While the reason for his visit is no secret, one can only wonder at the severity of the situation to require his presence. More on this as it occurs. For the Super Channel Network, this is-”

“Trish!” Dr. McCoy calls out, grabbing her from behind and lifting into a great big hug. “You are indeed a sight for these overused and lovely eyes!”

“Hank!” Trish squeals the moment she’s off the ground. She immediately slices her hand across her throat. “Cut Ted. Did he screw up the take.” She turns her head at Hank. “I swear to god if you ruined that take...”

“Naw Trish, most of it’s fine. Only the end was botched. We can add the sound bite in editing.”

“Thank god.” Trish playfully knocks Dr. McCoy on the side of the head with her elbow. “Put me down monkey-man. I’m working here!”

No need to be told twice, Dr. McCoy sets the newswoman down. “What in the oh-so-large-world are you doing here, Ms. Tilby? I could understand if the opportunity to gaze lovingly at my well-muscled body was enough to get you here, but I doubt SCN would pay out the bucks for it. Although I’ll have you know that I’ve be offered ever-escalating sums of this well-muscled body.”

Trish smacks Dr. McCoy again in response to his wink. “Can you shelve that ego of yours for even a minute. You don’t see Captain America naturally assuming the world revolves around him, do you?”

“Indeed, Ms. Tilby. And that is exactly the reason that the world does revolve around my Star-Spangled comrade.” Lightly grasping Trish’s wrists to fend off another head smack, his expression grows more serious. “So tell us, Ms. Walters’ worst nightmare, what was the cataclysm that drew Mr. Jupiter Brightson to assigning you to the small slice of heaven that is Genosha.”

Wrenching her arms away, Trish crosses them. “Hank, you know more than anyone what a hellhole this country is. It seems that the civil war is heating up again. There was some fighting outside of Hammer Bay between the magistrates and some mutate rebels camped in the hills. SCN got me on the plane before the first shot was fired.”

Dr. McCoy sighs, shaking his head sadly. Even after all that has happened, Genosha can’t think of anything save destroying itself. This can’t be an example of the world’s future. “Trish, you know how I feel about-”

Trish cuts him off, more than a hint of annoyance in her voice. “Hank, as much as I would love to have this conversation for the fifty thousandth time, I have to get going. Like you, I have responsibilities.”

Turning to the van, Trish waves to the crew. “I’ll be right there.” Hugging Dr. McCoy tight, she whispers in her ear. “Hey monkey man, it’s been great seeing you again. How ‘bout I give you a call later, and we get lunch or something? Catch up.”

Releasing Trish, Dr. McCoy smiles and nods. “I’ll be expecting that call.” Waving at Trish as she walks away, Dr. McCoy turns around to look for Dr. Wies and that car.

“Telford, shut up for a minute and just listen,” Toad yells into the phone, fed up. “This is long distance, so I’m only going to say this once. At 1:17 pm, meet Mountjoy at the warehouse and teleport outside the camps with him and everything he brought. Then set the flares and teleport to the monastery. It’s so simple I thought it up.”

Toad listens to the whiny reply in brimming impatience. “If he’s not there by 1:20, then just forget the whole thing. But if Mastermind finds out after the fact...” Toad lets the threat hang in the air for a moment, then hangs up.

Lowering his head on the bed, Toad looks across the hotel room at the other two occupants. Martinique Wyngarde, the second Mastermind, sits in one of the chairs, calmly filing her nails. Fred Dukes, on the other hand, sank into the other bed, munching one the two mints.

Mastermind gives Blob a disgusted look. “Toad, we’d better finish up today. There is no way in hell I’m sleeping in the same room with this slob.”

Licking his large fingers, Blob smirks at her. “You wish baby. Me, I like chicks with some meat on their bones.” Blob licks his lips. “Like that Big Bertha. Damn would I love a piece of that ass!”

Toad chuckles. “Don’t worry Marty, we’ll be done today, win or lose. Carmella and John are standing by, and Avalanche is getting ready to rock this place up.” Picking up the remote, Toad turns of the television and starts to flip through the channels. “This dump had better have USA; Wings is almost on.”

Mastermind sniffs, tossing the file aside and inspecting her nails. “And what are we supposed to be doing? While the others are spreading chaos and stealing stuff, I’m stuck in here with Jackass and the Really Fat Man!” Blob gives her a proud nod. “You could at least let me go out and torture someone. Sitting in here doing is too....Toad? Toad are you listening to me?”

“No, now shut up.” Toad turns up the volume of the set, watching intently.

“We’re here at Hammer Bay International Airport, where Dr. Henry McCoy, noted biologist and super-hero, has just arrived. While the reason for his visit is no secret, one can only wonder at the severity of the situation to require his presence. More on this as it occurs. For the Super Channel Network, this is Trish Tilby.”

Toad smiles widely, splitting his face in half. Blob mirrors his smile, having an idea of what Toad is thinking. “Looks like our lucky day. We’ve got an X-Man to play with.”

Toad nods. “Better.” He looks at Mastermind. “You just got your wish Marty. We’ll get him, my pretty. And his little girlfriend too!”

Mastermind grins, and the three of them laugh together.

Trish stalks out of the Super-Channel-Network, talking rapidly into the cell-phone. “Trust me, Jupiter, we’re going to get some terrific stories here. Between the rebels acting up and an Avenger being here, I can guarantee that you’ll be going up two points this week.” She nods as she walks down the street. “No problem. I’m planning to call him up after you and meet with him for lunch. Alright sir. Goodbye.”

Shutting off the cell phone, Trish immediately turns it back on and starts to dial Dr. McCoy’s hotel room. She can hardly wait to meet with Hank for lunch. His statement on alien conflict alone should win her several awards*.

*(Anybody hear of the Kree/Shi’ar War?-Kreemaster Steve)

As she’s dialing, however, a light hands taps her on the shoulder. “Excuse me, miss. Are you by any chance the reporter Trish Tilby?”

Rolling her eyes, Trish turns to face the woman. “Yeah lady, and I’m a little busy here, so-” The right cross caught her totally by surprise. Trish dropped like a sack of bricks.

Gloating over the reporter’s crumbled body, Mastermind picked up the cell phone. Dialing the rest of the number, she is pleased to get the machine. “Hello Dr. McCoy, I’m calling on behalf of Trish Tilby. She has a break in her schedule this afternoon, and would like to meet you for lunch. She’ll meet you outside of the Plaza Hotel at 1:00. She’d appreciate it if you weren’t late.”

Hanging up the cell phone, Mastermind slips it into Trish’s purse. Invisible to the other people on the street, she picks up the prone Trish Tilby and carries her to the Plaza Hotel.

Next Issue: What plans do the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants have for Genosha? What could they want with Trish Tilby? What sort of trap could the Toad have set for Beast? The answers to all these questions next issue, along with a special bonus. Beast vs. Toad!

Contact Stephen Crosby at: sjoc@linkny.com